Let’s get this straight: ADHD isn’t a relationship destroyer. But unmanaged or undiagnosed ADHD? That can seriously strain things for both partners.
I’m an ADHD coach, I have ADHD, and I’m married—so I get it. Here are 3 common ways ADHD can impact relationships, and what you can do about them:
1. Memory Gaps Aren’t Personal Attacks
ADHD affects working memory. That means even if you intend to remember something your partner asked, it might disappear from your brain. It can look like you don’t care—or like you’re using “weaponized incompetence.”
But here’s the truth: if you’re not actively using tools to support your memory (like reminders, notes, etc.), those gaps will keep happening. At the same time, partners need to remember that ADHD is a disability. Expecting perfection isn’t realistic, but preparing for blind spots can help a lot.
2. Executive Dysfunction Is Real
Time management, staying organized, and keeping a clean home—these are often big struggles with ADHD. But there are tools to help. With the right systems, someone with ADHD can function at a similar level to a neurotypical person.
Still, that doesn’t mean things will look Pinterest-perfect. Mutual understanding and adjusting expectations are key.
3. Emotions Can Feel Like a Roller Coaster
Emotional dysregulation isn’t even listed in the U.S. ADHD diagnostic criteria, but it’s a huge part of ADHD in real life. Here’s a common dynamic:
- The partner gives feedback.
- ADHD brain hears: “I’m a bad partner.”
- Emotions flood in. The response feels big or even over-the-top.
This isn’t about being overly sensitive—it’s about how the ADHD brain processes criticism and self-worth. Coaching and therapy can make a huge difference for both partners.
You’re Not Alone
If this feels familiar, you’re not broken—and neither is your relationship. You just need the right tools. I offer ADHD coaching and have tons of digital resources that are affordable and easy to use if coaching isn’t in your budget.
Let’s navigate this together 💛
“I’ve got a tool for this!” ✨
If you ever feel stuck organizing your thoughts or making your point clearly, the Argument Roadmap has your back.
This simple guide helps you break down your ideas, structure your argument, and get your message across without the overwhelm.
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And hey, if you’re looking for more relatable ADHD content or personalized coaching, I’m here to help! Check out the link in my profile for one-on-one and group coaching info. Let’s navigate this ADHD journey together.
Disclaimer:
This blog post is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Consult a qualified healthcare provider with any questions about your health.
